


In Your Arms

by BipLing



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Devilman Lady (Manga)
Genre: Akira Biting Ryo's Tits, Ass to Mouth, Biting, Fluff and Angst, I want to make it known they're ADULTS, Just Ryo Casually Contemplating Their Fates, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:28:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14283939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BipLing/pseuds/BipLing
Summary: You had to have him, so you did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried ; O ;

Ryo lies in bed, Akira’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Yet another sleepless night. The moonlight falls onto him, a blanket of twilight just outside his window, stardust reflecting back into his eyes. They are almost too tempting to not try and reach out for, as if he would be able to pluck them from the sky like some heavenly being. His fingers instead slip through Akira’s, his hand reflexively closing around his with a warmth hotter than a summer’s day. He has no need for heaven, his own garden of eden blooming between his Akira and him.  
He turns over in bed to face Akira, staring into the face he adores. His cheeks flush, watching the gentle motion of his breathing, as if at any moment he would cease to exist, crumbling to dust in his grip. Ryo leans into him, pressing the side of his head against his chest, the comforting sound of his heartbeat echoing into his ear. In the back of his mind, he knows the time they have is fleeting, sand constantly falling through his fingers. He closes his eyes, hugging him tightly.

Ryo tries his best to fall back asleep, to no avail, even with his dark-hearted lover beside him. He pulls himself away to the edge of the bed, rubbing at his eyes childishly. How much longer would this precious time last until the probable end again? Would things turn out differently? He glances over his shoulder back to Akira’s sleeping form, emotions rising in a dense torrential storm, holding a hand to his chest. Even now, he has no idea how to deal with these intense feelings other than to bottle them up until his carefully crafted front cracks under the pressure. Tears fill his eyes, glittering like crystals as they roll down his cheeks. His heart aches, twisting like a black hole full of an existential sadness that would tear a mortal being apart. But he has a cross to bear that only he can, needing to see this to the end - not for his own sake, but for Akira’s. A daydream of a time when they can finally be happy. Perhaps in a different world, a different universe it would be possible? If he has to he will build his own Eden simply for Akira to live in a world without death or loss, that is the least he can do. 

Some would call him obsessed, but after coming so far, how on earth could he turn back? All the things he has done and will do are all he knows anymore. Every time he returns to being cognizant of his true being and purpose, an overwhelming numbness overcomes him that he can only push to the back of his mind. Akira is the only thing that matters to him, even rebelling against God a secondary goal. He reaches across the bed to cup Akira’s face, stealing a single kiss to his forehead. Tears drip onto his face like raindrops, stirring him from sleep, groggily opening his eyes. 

“Ryo..? What are you doing?” Akira grumbles. Ryo backs off, pushing down his emotions. 

“Nothing, go back to sleep.” 

Akira places a hand to his forehead, the soft sensation of the kiss on his skin. He grimaces, furrowing his brows. “..Is something wrong?”

“No.” He snaps. “I’m fine, Akira.” His voice softens, frowning. “Please, just go back to sleep.” 

Akira sits up, coming behind Ryo to rest his chin on his shoulder, a grin on his lips. “You know I don’t buy that one bit.” 

He sighs. “..I really don’t want to talk about it - in fact, I shouldn’t.” 

“Oh? Why not?” Akira eggs him on, hands on his shoulders. 

“You don’t need to know.” He allows himself to be laid down, Akira poised over his prone form, staring down at him with an intense look in his eyes. 

“I’m sure I can get it out of you somehow.” Ryo stares back up at him, silent. A blanket of tension builds between them. Akira realizes the corner he has backed himself into, a hesitant blush in his cheeks. He rubs the back of his neck, silently cursing himself for his curiosity. With a heavy sigh, he swoops in to capture a soft kiss on the lips. Ryo, however, keeps him there for longer than Akira originally preferred, yearning for something longer than just a kiss. Something he could keep with him.

They break, their soft panting the only sound in the room. A ghost of a smile eases onto Ryo’s face, as gentle and firm as the Mona Lisa’s. “Fine, I’ll tell you.” He motions for him to lean back down, lips pursed. Akira’s breath is shaky, anticipating the revelation. Surely it must be something big? The moonlight falls over Ryo’s face, painting him in hues of blue and white, making him look almost ethereal; angelic.

He gulps, his voice catching. “Y-Yeah..?” 

Ryo holds Akira’s face in both hands, as delicately as if he were a piece of porcelain.

“I love you.”


	2. Afterglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You already KNOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we gay, keep scrolling

The next morning Ryo sits outside on the patio, a cigarette and coffee mug in hand. A ripped denim jacket swallows him up, light glinting off his thick-rimmed glasses. He takes a drag, exhaling smoke out into the dewy morning air. He could still not believe his confession the night prior, he let his guard down. Regret slips its tendrils around his heart. Would this ruin the casualness between them, turning awkward as time goes on? Images of Akira untying himself from Ryo pass through his head, gradually growing as distant as the sun. He glances to the sky, thick, pillowy clouds muddling its light. One day his heart will break open like the skies and he will no longer be hesitant in showing Akira just how much he means to him. The chirp of songbirds fill his ears, taking a sip of coffee. 

Akira steps out onto the patio in his pajamas, a torn black tee and red sweats on. He holds a hand to shield his eyes, yawning loudly. Ryo watches him adoringly, a small, content smile resting on his lips. He squints into his face. “What are you smiling about?”

“Oh, I’m just taking in the view.” He nonchalantly takes another drag of his cigarette. Akira blushes, clenching his hands into fists.

“Well - I -” He huffs, unable to think of a witty comeback. Glancing down to the side, his voice is surprisingly quiet. “I.. I think you look nice too, Ryo.” 

“Oh, what was that?” Ryo leans in, head cocked, hand to his ear. “I don’t think I caught that.” 

Akira’s face scrunches up, glowering. “I SAID I think you look nice, okay!” 

Ryo chuckles. “I know, I just wanted to hear you say it again.” 

He sits down at the table across from Ryo, arms folded, staring him down. Ryo looks him directly in the eye, making him avoid his gaze. He scratches his cheek. “So.. about last night.. you were serious, right?” 

Ryo blinks, wetting his lips. He runs his hand to the middle of the table, eyes downcast. “Would it be a problem if I was?” 

“No, absolutely not!” His hand slowly closes the distance, fingertips barely touching Ryo’s. “I was just wondering, I’m not really used to-” He takes a moment to search for the right words. “-Being serious. All this time I assumed we were just fooling around, y’know? I didn’t know you felt like that-” 

“-Well, now you do.” He stares into his face, grabbing hold of his hand. “I will do whatever I have to for you, Akira.” 

“I, uh.. Thanks.” He looks down at their intertwined hands, face growing warm. “So..”

“So?”

“...Is there anything you want to do?” 

Ryo rests his cheek against his hand, a gleam in his eye. “I just want to spend some time alone with you.” 

His blush intensifies. “O-Oh.. well, we’re alone right now, aren’t we?” 

“You know what I mean.” He whispers, snubbing out his cigarette, standing from his seat. He slips his hands into his jacket pockets, motioning with his eyes back to the apartment. Akira’s hands tremble, a grin quirking onto his lips. 

Ryo is thrown onto the bed, Akira tearing through his shirt underneath the denim jacket with his teeth. His mouth attacks Ryo’s neck while his hands tenderly grope his breasts, Ryo biting his lip the entire time which makes little difference in keeping himself quiet. The cicadas’ screams hum through the humid summer air, their room quickly turning hot as if they themselves were the sun. 

“Ah- Akira..” Ryo moans, his eyes stare up at the ceiling, fingers winding in Akira’s hair. His lips mouth down his chest to nip at his nipples, teeth leaving a path of pink marks in his skin. “Please..” 

Akira’s eyes flick up to meet Ryo’s, cockily smirking. “Please what?”

He grabs a fistful of his hair. “I think you’re being awfully mouthy. May as well make use of it, huh?”

Akira cocks a brow before diving back in between Ryo’s chest, running a hand down to roughly shove their pants down. He moves down his front, Ryo spreading his legs. Akira greedily bites at the inside of his thighs, making direct eye contact. He nudges his head down between his legs, Akira getting the hint and devouring Ryo’s ass like a four-course meal. His toes curl, the feeling so euphoric. He covers his blushing face, Akira glancing up every now and then to check in. He loves the fact he can make him feel this good, only spurring him on. Akira’s fingers wrap around Ryo’s dick, jacking him off painfully slow. “A-Akira! Don’t stop!” Ryo’s voice grows needy, hips bucking into Akira’s hand as his pace increases. He comes hard, legs shaking as he grips fistfuls of the sweat-soaked sheets. Akira licks up Ryo’s body to sweetly kiss him, a cloud of afterglow fogging his vision. “I-I love you..” 

Akira chuckles. “I know.”


	3. Stardust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Ryo ruminating on their shared fate.

In the darkness of the park, Ryo slumps on a bench, leaning his chin in one hand, cigarette in the other. The only lights are the burning embers of his cig as he takes a drag. He runs a hand down his neck over the marks from earlier in the day. They sure did go at it, a ferocity in Akira that he nearly forgot about.   
But pray tell, how much longer did they have this time before it all went to shit? What day would it be, what hour, what minute? 

Ryo exhales a thick cloud of smoke, eyes lazily scanning the park, flicking between the light posts, moths fluttering around them. A twinge of suspicion grabs hold of him, like someone is watching him. He goes to flick ash away as strong hands envelop him from behind, his fight instinct kicking in. To think that it would begin at this moment, when a mere day prior Ryo was enjoying himself with his boyfriend. It seems that some things simply cannot be avoided. 

A bright light envelops him brighter and purer than the sun and Satan opens his eyes for the first and possibly last time on this Earth yet again. Soft white feathers cascade around him as all twelve of his wings open, a peaceful expression on his face one could only describe as heavenly. Satan’s cold eyes flick down to the form he assumed was trying to assault him, but only sees someone very familiar to him standing, stupefied. 

Ah, it was only his Akira, how silly of him. He runs a hand down his face, grumbling to himself. How exactly is he going to explain this? “Akira, you see,”

“Holy shit, Ryo, you’re an angel?” 

“...Sure, let’s go with that.” Satan leans down, a hand outstretched for Akira to take, a gentle smile on his lips. “You don’t have to be afraid.” 

“I, I’m not. You’re, uh…” He mutters something under his breath, turning pink. 

“What was that?” Satan cocks his head, an expectant look on his face.

“I said, I think you’re beautiful, okay!?” He blurts out, the pink only intensifying. “God, you’re still like this even as a fucking angel?”

Satan pats Akira’s head, snickering from behind a closed fist. He loves when he gets flustered over the simplest displays of affection, a thing he’ll miss when the curtains close once again on this chapter. He isn’t sure when it’ll happen this time, or necessarily how things will play out for them. All he can do is hope this time is the one. Glistening tears drip down his face at the thought, the moonlight reflecting in them as bright and colorful as stained glass. Their universe is like a dying star on the brink of going supernova, Satan cherishing every moment he has with Akira until then. In the final moments, before everything is hand waved away like smoke, only to begin once again, Satan almost regrets everything he’s ever done. 

Before he knows it, he relives his short life as Ryo once again. 

It’s silly, how he’s fallen in hopeless love with a mere human, that this was the catalyst for him to truly rebel against God. But, what is a God to a non-believer? An entity playing as God, a bored child with a complex. That is all they’ve been to him; a force to reject. 

“Now, what are you doing out here by yourself?” 

Akira rubs the back of his neck with a bashful grin. “I, uh, came here looking for you. You know you could warn me the next time you decide to go somewhere and brood?” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Satan tilts his head, hair falling to perfectly frame his round face. “Maybe I like to keep you on your toes.”

He groans, “clearly. Can we just go home already?” He lowers his voice, avoiding the crystal clear gaze of the angel in front of him. “I can’t really sleep without you next to me…” He yawns, stretching his arms out like a cat. 

“Oh, that’s not an issue.” Satan plucks Akira from his feet, dangling him by the back of his shirt between his two fingers. 

“Wait, what’re you-” 

“Shhh… It’s okay. Let yourself rest.” He brings Akira into his embrace, cradling him against his chest like one would a newborn. Satan’s skin is too perfect and smooth, an almost otherworldly texture. Despite the overwhelmingly warm light that emanates from him, he is as cold as the void of space. It isn’t necessarily cold he feels, but the entire absence of temperature itself. 

Satan wraps his upper wings around himself in an effort to warm Akira, gazing down with as much patience as a saint in his kaleidoscope eyes. It helps little, but Akira can pretend it does. Satan watches him closely until he’s sure he’s asleep, satisfied at himself. 

In this moment, nothing will be able to tear them apart, even the will of God himself. Long after this night has passed and they have separated, only to turn into bitter rivals once again, Satan hopes he can finally get through to him. But he knows better than to bank on idealized hypotheticals, Akira rather dying than give up on his hope for humanity as a whole - And so it goes. Another grain of sand falls in the hourglass, another drop of water breaks the surface. 

Will he ever get his way, or will there be a day when he loses hope, allowing everything he’s worked so hard to fight for, to fall from his grip? Will his sun set on the distant horizon, to never be seen again? 

Only time will tell.


	4. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more waxing about ~emo~ shit

The sun rises on another day with Ryo sitting on the couch, a lit cigarette between his fingers. He cradles his face with said hand, tired eyes staring at the corner of the hallway, waiting for Akira to wake as he usually does. He rarely sleeps, only able to when he’s next to the one person that matters to him anymore. The dawn’s early light shines from behind closed curtains, illuminating only his silhouette against the fabric. His feet are folded on top of the coffee table, an arm draped over the back of the couch. 

The light from the bedroom lights up the black hall, heavy footsteps signaling Akira’s groggy journey to the kitchen. Ryo takes a long drag off his cig, staring straight at him. He pauses, sniffing the air. His voice is weary. “Ryo...”

“Yes, Akira?”

“Why are you still awake?”

He grins that typical grin of his. “Well, you see-”

“I thought you told me you were going to go to sleep hours ago?”

Ryo shrugs, a loose gesture. As tired as he is, his calm seems to be an unbreakable thing. He drawls on, “I lied. I have a tendency to do that.”

“You don’t lie to me, though.” Akira makes his way into the living room, in nothing but a pair of sweats. The air is cool, birds chirping outside the window. He goes to flick on a light, but Ryo raises a hand to stop him. “But, it’s so dark in here?”

“Just come sit down next to me, would you?” He does as he’s told. Akira, his precious Akira, so close to him. Heat radiates off him, the need to ask a question radiating from his eyes. Ryo closes his momentarily, taking the risk of looking away from him. For all he knows, the next time he opens them, the eyes he looks into will be empty again. “What’s on your mind?”

His hands are in his lap, fingers intertwined. Akira looks away, biting his lip out of minor guilt. “I know you tell me not to worry about you, but when you do things like this, I… can’t help but do exactly that.”

“What’s your point?”

“I mean, you’re my best friend - more than that, even. Can you blame a guy for wondering what’s going on up there?” 

“Nothing, Akira.” 

He waves away smoke from around them. “-Also, could you try not to smoke inside? I thought we agreed on that.”

Ryo grins once more, but Akira knows he must be getting on his nerves by the way he snubs out the cigarette in the ashtray. “My fault. It won’t happen again.”

“I’m not annoyed about that! I just want you to pay attention to me when we’re talking.”

He opens his eyes, leaning his head back against the cushion. “Trust me, you’re the only thing I’m ever paying attention to.”

A blush blooms on Akira’s cheeks, stammering through the inconspicuous flirting he’s grown used to. “So can you tell me what’s wrong?” He asks, coming off a bit too irritated than he planned. “I know something is cutting you up inside, I just… I want to try and help, okay? That’s my job.”

Ryo stands, tossing his trench coat to the side. He grits his teeth, the crybaby tears coming the moment he thinks about everything again. How is he supposed to explain the fact he’s going to die an uncountable amount of times? He doesn’t want to think about that conversation, one he’s had the misfortune of pondering numerous times before. He knows the outcome will be bad, he feels it in his bones. His hands shake. His stomach is queasy. 

To Akira, Ryo is a solitary being, floating in the eye of an angry storm. Every time he tries to get close, he can practically see the bars go up, acting as a double-edged sword. He keeps the questions simple, doesn’t push it when Ryo throws him a vague answer, but he’s sick and tired of being kept in the dark. “Baby, don’t be afraid of me. I just want to know if I can do anything.”

Akira reaches over to take his hand, but Ryo gives him a stern “Stop.”

“What?”

“Don’t touch me-”

“Don’t treat me like some asshole, Ryo - Tell me, are you happy being like this?”

Ryo turns away, squaring his shoulders. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Do you like being alone or something?” He implores. “Do you not want me here right now?” Akira stands toe to toe with him. “‘Cause the way I see it, you’d rather me go back to sleep so this can blow over, right?” 

The more he watches Ryo, the farther he drifts away from him, like an umbrella being torn from his hands, never to be seen again. He takes his hand in an attempt to ground him, glaring into his face. 

“So, what’s the deal, Ryo?”

“I don’t deserve you.” He states this as if it’s a matter of fact. 

“Excuse me?” Akira sits back down, gently nudging Ryo to do the same. “Just come over here for a second, okay?”

He begrudgingly submits, stiffly lowering himself onto the couch. Ryo gulps down his feelings. Akira looks at their intertwined hands, patient as a saint. The minutes pass and the waves come rushing forth. How silly of him to want something so unattainable, as if he were a mere human with nothing else to worry about. The amount of promises he’s broken, the amount of lies he’s told, they all blend together into a miasma of regret. All that’s left is a deep wanting, a feverish heat that consumes his being. Akira is the only thing in his world, for he has nothing left. If there could be a paradise, a fantastical garden the two of them could frolic in without worry, only needing to be concerned with how tightly they hold onto each other, he would go there. They would be lost in paradise, but at least they would be lost together. Alas, such a thing only exists in fairy tales. 

Ryo cries harder and harder. Akira manages to pull him into his embrace, resting his heavy head on his shoulder. He pets his hair, finding himself getting a bit teary-eyed. He’s been through this multiple times, but even now he can’t help but cry along with him. “It's okay, you're okay, you're safe - I promise.” Ryo calms down a bit, his trembling ceasing. A smile twitches onto Akira’s face, holding him tighter. “See? Everything’s going to be alright-”

“But you’re not.”

Akira’s eyes widen, the grin slipping off. “Huh?”

“You’re not safe with me, Akira.”

“What are you talking about?” He holds Ryo at arm’s length, searching his blank face for an answer. “Don’t - don’t be silly, man. I’m supposed to be the one protecting you, aren’t I?” 

Ryo keeps quiet, nodding along with a smile. But, there’s nothing behind his eyes. No mischievous spark that he’s grown so used to, prepping to be proven wrong with a single line. But nothing comes this time, dead silence taking its place. He brushes off Akira’s hands. “Let’s just go to sleep.”

He sighs. “Just promise me we’ll talk about this soon.”

“I promise.” Ryo delivers this as softly as he can to delay the inevitable. 

It’s never brought up again until it’s too late.


	5. Twilight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : )

Ryo remembers the first and only time he was in love. It was so beautiful. The budding relationship between Akira and him, a memory so distant he’s afraid he’s forgotten the most important part. It flutters just out of reach. What made him so drawn to Akira? He can hardly recall specifics, only feeling love at the thought of him. Love is all that matters now. He’s as vibrant as neon gold, a tingling warmth seeping through his body. His heart may as well be a radioactive sun, with how intense his feelings are. 

All the half-remembered moments pass by his eyes, blending together in a kaleidoscope of colors. Like fireworks in the sky, each one is more beautiful and bigger than the last. A fond smile comes over him, gazing up at the distant night sky. When the nostalgia fades, he can see the dazzling lights for what they truly are. The earth has been decimated as it has numerous times before. Ryo freezes, his heart plummeting into the void. The tears come early in preparation for the reveal, to which everything after will begin anew. The cycle will restart. 

He reaches a hand out, meeting warmth.

“Akira?” He whimpers, daring not to look. He knows what he’ll see if he does.

“What are you crying for, Ryo?” A voice echoes into his ears, shocking him to the core. He moves as stiff as a rusting doll, glancing to the side out of the corner of his eyes. “A-Akira?” 

The same tears that he’s cried over and over burn his skin. He reflexively goes to reach out for him with a shaky hand, seeing only black in his peripheral. His fingers reach warmth, their hands interlocking. He’s.. he’s alive? He’s tugged into an embrace, dark wool enveloping him. Ryo presses his face into Akira’s shoulder and softly cries into his sweater. 

A hand pets his hair, firm but gentle. “It’s alright, Ryo… I’m still here,” he says. The fierceness behind his voice is gone, coming off as a washed out version of himself. There’s a long pause before he asks him again. “What are you crying for? Everything’s going to be okay.”

“But everything isn’t okay!” He has to wrestle to get out of Akira’s grip, yelping at a throbbing pain in his side. Ryo lays a hand over pure warmth, a sickly wetness coming away. For the first time he looks into Akira’s face to see him crying. His eyes are red-ringed, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his arm. 

“I’m so fucking sorry, Ryo… I- I didn’t want to-”

“What?”

“I can’t lose you too!” His words brings back brief images of Miki and Miko. Ryo looks out to the destroyed world, shoulders drooping. Covering his face with his hands, he goes on with his sobbing. They’re dead. They’re dead. They’re dead. It’s all his fault. Just like everything else. 

“But, it’s okay…” Akira clenches his hands into tight fists, putting on a brave front. “I’ve still got you, don’t I? You don’t have to cry anymore.”

“...It was their fate,” he mumbles, staring down into his hands. 

“What are you saying, Ryo?”

“God made it their fate to die.” 

Akira grimaces, angry tears rolling down his face. “But fate can be changed, can’t it?” 

No answer.

“What was the point of us going through this, then!?-”

“You’re supposed to be dead, too.”

Akira takes a step back, blinking. “You’re- you’re fucking joking, right?”

He levels a far-off stare towards him. A bittersweet smile breaks his flat expression. “I wish I was.” He flinches, pressing a hand to his mouth as he coughs up blood. “It would be in your best interest to finish me off.”

“I’m not going to kill you, Ryo!”

“You coward,” he says. “After everything I’ve done, after all the people I’ve killed, you refuse to end me?”

“I… I don’t want to be alone.” He offers a shaky hand, gulping down his anger. “I know it sounds stupid, I know I’m nothing but a crybaby, but it scares me. You’re the last person I want to lose.” He takes a few careful steps towards Ryo.

Ryo cocks his head. “How can you care for a disgusting demon like me?”

“You’re not a demon! You’re… beautiful.” His eyes gleam, laying a hand on his shoulder. Akira’s hand slowly runs up to caress his face, Ryo pressing into his touch despite himself. His thumb rubs his cheek, leaning in close. Their kiss is soft, feathers brushing on skin.

“Do you love me?”

A light overflows the void of space, engulfing the universe in a bright white. Ryo and Akira’s silhouettes are slowly consumed, melting away into the nothingness. All the while, they stare into each other’s eyes. For the moment, everything is in perfect stillness. The heaviness in their hearts is lifted. Ryo nearly forgot what the feeling of Heaven was like.

Akira chuckles, whispering one final thing. “I hate you.”


End file.
